The Big Picture
Sam Harris, Jay Shetty, Tal Wilkenfeld, Rob Bell and Martha Beck come at this subject from very different directions, but they share the view that well-being depends less on what you have than on where your attention rests. Harris tells Andrew Huberman that it is possible to have everything and be miserable, and possible to have almost nothing and be happy, like people who emerge from years alone in a cave beaming with compassion [1]. What we really want, he says, is good enough reason to let attention rest fully in the present, and meditation reverses the usual causality so that you can be at peace before the next good thing happens [1].
The others describe the same shift in their own terms. Shetty says your body and mind cannot communicate with you until you are still [2]. Wilkenfeld says of sitting with yourself that "there's no better education" [3]. Bell tells Lewis Howes that every ancient tradition that helped people said you are enough as you are, the opposite of the online message that a better version of you is for sale [4]. Beck describes a practice of paying attention to suffering without fighting it [5]. They differ mainly on how much practice it takes, and on what form it should have.
Where the Experts Agree
- Stillness lets you hear what you've been missing. Shetty asks whether a partner would tell you something important while you are busy, hectic and stressed; they would not, and in the same way your body and mind cannot reach you until you are still [2]. That is when you notice the ache you ignored for a month [2]. He cites a Buddhist teaching: "what movement does for the body stillness does for the mind" [2].
- You face discomfort instead of escaping it. Wilkenfeld says that when you sit with yourself every demon comes out, and profound things can happen on the other side [3]. Beck's steps begin with suffering and then paying attention to it without fighting; her "let it stay" meditation replaced a "let go" approach that failed [5]. Harris uses a hard set in the gym as a model: physiologically it resembles a medical emergency, but because you chose it and understand it, you can be at peace while straining [1].
- Peace doesn't mean giving up goals. Harris says you can be at peace now while still choosing to get in shape or change careers [1].
- Phones and social media work against all this. Harris deleted his large Twitter account on Thanksgiving Day; it gave him a darker view of people, friends included, than their real-life behaviour justified, and its residue spilled into time with his wife and kids [1]. Beck says scrolling Instagram for hours leaves her cramped and uneasy, because "a divided person is always anxious" [5]. Bell compares these technologies to fire: they keep us warm and cook our food, and they can burn the forest down [4].
- Repetition is what makes it work. Beck's fourth step is to never stop, and she believes thousands of repetitions have built a well-worn circuit that takes her there quickly [5]. Bell repeats a mantra on his morning dog walks [4].
Where They Differ
How much, and how formal. Shetty recommends 20 minutes a day as a minimum, because it takes about five minutes just to get past the initial noise [2]. Wilkenfeld goes much further: an online retreat of up to 12 hours a day from the back lounge of a tour bus, and months in monasteries [3]. Bell's practice today is about small things: on dog walks he repeats that everything he needs for today he'll have when he needs it, and he finds pure presence in the dog and in the dolphins he sees while surfing [4].
Contemplation or sitting. Wilkenfeld describes two approaches and says she needs both. With Vedanta teachers, meditation means contemplating scripture, which satisfies her analytical side; in Zen monasteries it means waking at 5 a.m. to a bell and sitting nearly all day with plain food, and that discipline and uncertainty force her to face whatever comes up [3].
Religious or not. Shetty quotes the filmmaker David Lynch, "prayer is how you talk to God and meditation is how God talks to you," and adds that whatever a person believes in, the point is a dialogue with both giving and receiving [2]. Bell speaks from ancient traditions and the message that you have been loved the whole time [4]. Harris, in this passage, frames meditation in terms of attention and peace, without that language [1]. Wilkenfeld likes a group that blends Ken Wilber's integral theory and spiral dynamics into Zen, because it recognizes levels of development toward self-realization in any tradition [3].
Practical Takeaways
- Start with 20 minutes a day, as Shetty suggests, and expect the first five minutes to be noise [2].
- If you feel sleepy after meditating, Shetty says you are doing it right: the practice has told you that you need rest. Feeling energized is information too [2].
- Try Beck's sequence when you are hurting: notice the suffering, let it stay without fighting it, and follow your own compassion for it back to its source [5].
- Use Beck's KIST, kind internal self talk: when you wake up feeling off, register every sensation, then speak to yourself as a caregiver would [5].
- Borrow Bell's mantra for an ordinary walk: everything I need for today, I'll have when I need it [4].
- Look hard at your social media use. Harris found Twitter darkened his view of people and followed him home to his family [1].
- Treat chosen difficulty, such as a hard set in the gym, as practice for staying at peace under strain [1].
- If one style of practice doesn't suit you, try another: Wilkenfeld uses scripture study for her analytical side and silent sitting for discipline [3].
Sources
- Dr Sam Harris Using Meditation To Focus View Consciousness Expand Your Mind · Huberman Lab
- Jay Shetty: Mindset Habits for Happiness and Thinking Like a Monk · The School of Greatness
- Tal Wilkenfeld: Music, Guitar, Bass, Jeff Beck, Prince, and Leonard Cohen · Lex Fridman Podcast
- The Spiritual Guide to Inner Peace, Mastering Grief & Understanding God with Rob Bell · The School of Greatness
- Dr Martha Beck Access Your Best Self With Mind Body Practices Belief Testing Imagination · Huberman Lab
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