Jamie Kern Lima on Finding Your Purpose: From Denny's Waitress to a $1.2 Billion Company

High-Level Overview

Mel Robbins welcomes Jamie Kern Lima, founder of IT Cosmetics, whom she calls the "professor of purpose." Lima went from waitressing at Denny's and anchoring local TV news to building a cosmetics brand in her living room. She sold it to L'Oréal for $1.2 billion in cash and became the company's first female CEO of a brand in more than a century. She has also donated more than $40 million in products and cash to cancer survivors and wrote the bestseller Believe It. Through her story, the episode covers what purpose really is, how to hear and trust your intuition, and how to keep going through years of rejection.

The conversation is emotional, funny and inspiring, often raw, with Robbins stopping to underline lessons for listeners and occasionally swearing on Lima's behalf. Lima speaks openly about her faith, her self-doubt and the body shaming she faced. The episode moves from her early jobs and a career-threatening skin condition, through three years of rejections and a make-or-break QVC appearance, to her advice on finding purpose now.

The Discussion Explores:

• Why "our steps are ordered" and how humble jobs prepare you for what's ahead
• Setbacks as setups for what you're called to do
• Why purpose isn't a job title, and how it often comes from pain you've made it through
• Turning a personal problem, rosacea on live TV, into a revolutionary business idea
• Building intuition like a muscle and learning to trust your gut
• The investor rejection that sparked a moment of clarity: listen to the no or the knowing
• The QVC gamble, authenticity versus expert advice, and "rejection is God's protection"
• Practical ways to find your purpose when you don't yet have clarity

Deep Dive into Main Ideas

Our Steps Are Ordered

Lima describes waitressing at Denny's, where the kitchen was so slow that pancakes took an hour, so she learned to keep customers talking. She remembers feeling there was something more she was meant to do without knowing what it was or believing she was worthy of it. She worked her way through school pushing grocery carts and slicing deli meat, then landed what she thought was her dream job in TV news. Years later, when she launched a business, she realized that Denny's had taught her operations have to be right or nothing else matters.

This leads to her first big lesson: our steps are ordered. She believes everything in life is happening for us, even when it doesn't make sense, as we collect a toolbox of experience for the purpose we'll eventually step into. Robbins, also a former waitress, adds that service jobs teach you that no work is beneath you and that everyone deserves respect, because you never forget what it's like to be treated badly over late pancakes.

What Purpose Really Is

Lima argues that people feel empty because they think purpose has to be a job or some huge goal, and then find it hollow when they get there. She believes purpose is often about serving the person you once were, or serving others because of something you've been through. It could be deciding to break a painful cycle in your family, or simply saying hello to a lonely person in a coffee line. You recognize it by the sense of fulfillment and alignment it brings.

People assume her purpose was to be a big entrepreneur. It wasn't, she says. Her purpose was the risk she took to be seen exactly as she was and to help women feel they are enough. The company was a byproduct. She notes that only about 5% of IT Cosmetics customers had skin issues like hers; the other 95% bought because they felt seen.

The Setback That Became a Setup

At 28, anchoring the news in Seattle, Lima developed rosacea that broke through her makeup on live television. Producers told her through her earpiece that there was something on her face, and she felt her heartbeat in her ears, afraid she'd be fired. She spent her small paycheck on makeup that didn't work. Her key reframe is that "the seasons that feel like setbacks are actually set-ups for what we're called to do."

Her turning point came when she realized she had never seen a model with red, bumpy skin selling makeup, and that the airbrushed ads she loved had always made her feel she wasn't enough. She imagined creating a product that actually worked and using real women of every age, size, skin tone and skin challenge as models. She says one of the strongest ways to find your purpose is to look at what has hurt you and ask how making it through could help someone else. Robbins credits Lima with starting the real beauty movement around 2007 and 2008, when airbrushed perfection was still the norm, and tells listeners they could be the first to change how people see something too.

From Aha Moment to Action

Lima says people often talk themselves out of ideas by assuming someone else has already done it. Her answer: there is only one of you, so nobody has ever done it the way you will. She adds a warning, though. Because your approach is new, expect people not to get it at first, and expect a lot of rejection.

She and her husband quit their jobs, put all their savings into the business and worked from their living room. She admits she worked 100-hour weeks and doesn't recommend it. Since manufacturers are closely guarded secrets in the beauty industry, she wrote down every brand name at a Sephora and called each one asking who made their products. Most hung up, but someone at one small brand gave her the name of a New York manufacturer, who took a chance and made samples. After about a year and hundreds of formula versions, she sent the product to Sephora, Ulta, department stores and QVC. Every one said no. For three years she couldn't pay herself, cried herself to sleep, and heard doubts from friends, family and above all herself.

Intuition Is a Muscle

Asked how to stay connected to your intuition amid so many noes, Lima says intuition is a muscle built over a lifetime. Her main tool is to look back at times you ignored your gut because others disagreed, and times you trusted it, and notice what happened. Over time you recognize the feeling. For her it is often the tiniest feeling in her gut, a still small voice, and she also prays and asks God for answers.

She notes that many people, especially women, are trained from childhood not to trust themselves. They're told everything is fine when it clearly isn't, learn to decide by consensus, and get rewarded for people-pleasing. She suggests spending even five minutes a day reflecting on when you trusted yourself. Robbins proposes an experiment: spend a day making only choices that match what you actually want, from skipping a party to choosing your own dinner. Lima quotes their friend Trent Shelton: "one day the things you're going through right now will be the things you made it through." She believes hard times either build the strength to carry future success or prepare you to find purpose by helping others through the same pain.

Listen to the No or the Knowing

Three years in and nearly out of money, Lima pinned her hopes on a major investment firm. In the final in-person meeting, the head of the firm praised the product but passed. When she asked why, he told her, "I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight." She felt a lifetime of body doubt rush in, but no anger. Instead, she felt a strong feeling in her gut that he was wrong. She says the man gave her a no, but God gave her a knowing.

Robbins calls this the billion-dollar lesson: "are you going to listen to the no? Or are you going to listen to the knowing inside of you?" Lima quotes Jay-Z, "the genius thing we did was we didn't give up," and wrote in her journal every day, "know your why, then fly, girl fly." She also looked up stories of successful people who had faced thousands of rejections. When she didn't know the next step, she got still, prayed and took the next step that felt right.

The QVC Gamble and Choosing Authenticity

At a crowded beauty industry event, Lima kept slipping away from her small table to reach the QVC booth. She found a buyer, poured her heart out while sweating through her clothes, and eventually got one 10-minute live segment. She had to sell more than 6,000 units in 10 minutes, about ten years of her website sales at one or two orders a day, or never come back. The deal was on consignment, so any unsold product would come back to her. Twenty-two banks turned her down before the 23rd, California Bank and Trust, gave her a loan.

The consultants she hired all said to use young models with flawless skin. Lima wanted older women, women with acne and hyperpigmentation, and to show her own bare skin. She spent a week crying in a rental car in the QVC parking lot, tempted to do it their way first. She decided that "authenticity alone doesn't automatically guarantee success," but inauthenticity guarantees failure every time. On air, wearing two pairs of Spanx, her hands shook so much she couldn't demonstrate the product on her wrist, so the host took over. They showed a bare-faced before shot of her, she called the real models beautiful, and at the 10-minute mark a sold-out sign appeared. Her husband rushed in and said, "we're not going bankrupt." That September 2010 appearance led to five more that year, 101 the next, and eventually around 250 live shows a year, making it the biggest beauty brand in QVC's history.

Rejection Is God's Protection

Looking back, Lima is grateful the investor said no. If he had invested, she says, she was desperate enough to give up most of the company for almost nothing. Six years later, when L'Oréal bought it for $1.2 billion, she and her husband were the largest shareholders. The investor contacted her once, on the day of the announcement, to congratulate her and say he was wrong. She thanked him, though she admits she was tempted to quote Pretty Woman: big mistake, huge. Her summary: "Rejection is God's protection." Robbins adds that true strength is believing this about the rejections you face now, not just in hindsight.

Finding Your Purpose Now

On what's next, Lima says purpose doesn't have to be your job. Many people need a paycheck or health insurance for their families, and they can find purpose outside work. Her own real story, she says, is a girl who didn't believe in herself learning how to, and she is donating all proceeds from Believe It to fund leadership programs. For people without clarity yet, she warns that waiting for everything to be perfect is the biggest excuse for never starting. Take a step and notice how it feels. She shares advice from their friend Dean about a "fuzzy target": like aiming an arrow, it's fine to adjust your aim a few times before you let go.

Robbins closes by saying there is plenty of success to go around, and that lifting others up makes success come faster. She says your knowing is yours alone, so family and investors will naturally say no because they only know who you've been. "It is your responsibility to advocate for it because only you have seen it in your heart and mind." Lima adds that no one can tell you you're not the right fit, and that everyone deserves grace on the journey.

Conclusion

Jamie Kern Lima's story, from a slow Denny's kitchen to live TV with rosacea to a sold-out QVC segment and a $1.2 billion sale, is the backbone of a practical lesson on purpose. Purpose, she argues, isn't a job title or a giant goal. It's often found in the pain you've survived and in helping others through the same thing. Setbacks can be setups, intuition can be trained, and rejection can turn out to be protection. Most of all, both women insist, you have to choose between the noes around you and the knowing inside you, and stay authentic even when experts say otherwise. For anyone who feels made for more but stuck, the episode offers encouragement and concrete tools for taking the next step.

This is a summary of "How to Find Your Purpose: Stop Searching and Do This Instead" from The Mel Robbins Podcast, giving you the GIST so you can decide if you want the REST. Listen to the full episode.