Create the pause: the small gap therapists and doctors put before reacting
Harvard psychologist Luana Marques teaches creating a pause to stop an anxiety spiral, therapist Meg Josephson breaks the people-pleasing reflex with awareness, a pause and a breath, psychiatrist Pooja Lakshmin defines a boundary as the pause in which you decide how to respond, physician Aditi Nerurkar uses a three-second reset, and Mel Robbins asks people to pause and check whether something is worth their energy. One deliberate gap between trigger and response is the common first step behind very different tools, and it is small enough to practice today.
What single move do these five experts all start from? Show answer
Putting a small pause between whatever set you off and what you do next, so a reaction becomes a response.
What cycle does Luana Marques say the pause interrupts? Show answer
The cycle of thoughts, emotions and behavior, which feed each other quickly until anxiety is high enough to make thinking hard.
How does Marques create a pause? Show answer
By writing down the thought, the emotion and the behavior it is pushing her toward. She says writing engages the organizing part of the brain and quiets the alarm center.
What does Meg Josephson call people pleasing? Show answer
The fawn response, a threat response in which a person tries to appease the threat and be liked by it in order to feel safe.
Why does Josephson say pausing is the first step in breaking that reflex? Show answer
The reflex runs without awareness, and nothing can be healed until you are aware of it. Pausing lets you notice what you are doing.
What breathing pattern does Josephson suggest inside the pause? Show answer
Inhale for a count of four and exhale for six, which she says signals safety to the body even if anxiety remains.
How did Pooja Lakshmin arrive at her definition of a boundary? Show answer
A mentor told her she could let her office phone go to voicemail, listen, decide and then respond. She concluded that the boundary is that pause.
What options does Lakshmin say follow the pause? Show answer
Yes, no or negotiate. She notes that saying no always has a cost, but pausing is always available.
What is Aditi Nerurkar's three-second reset? Show answer
Stop, breathe, be, with feet grounded on the floor. She practiced it each time she touched a patient's doorknob.
Why does Nerurkar say such a small reset helps? Show answer
Anxious thoughts are focused on the future. The reset pulls attention from what might happen back to what is happening now.
What question does Mel Robbins ask during the pause? Show answer
Whether the thing in front of her is worth her energy. If it is not, she disengages instead of explaining or debating.
What risk and limit does the article note about pausing? Show answer
A pause can become avoidance if used to step away from everything uncomfortable, and it does not replace treatment. Panic attacks or persistent anxiety call for a professional.