Does venting help or hurt? Psychologists disagree on the details
Ethan Kross warns that rehashing feelings can backfire by feeding rumination, while Judith Joseph makes venting one of her five V's of happiness, Edith Eger says the opposite of depression is expression, and Chris Voss uses venting as preparation for hard talks. The difference lies in whether expression moves you toward perspective or keeps you looping.
What decides whether venting helps or hurts, according to the article? Show answer
Whether it moves you toward understanding, perspective and action, or keeps you looping over the same material.
What benefit does Ethan Kross grant to venting? Show answer
It strengthens bonds between people, since you learn who you can call when you are struggling.
What is co-rumination? Show answer
What venting becomes when a listener only validates, round after round, without helping you see the bigger picture or solve the problem.
What two steps do the people Kross relies on follow? Show answer
First they validate and empathize. Then they help him broaden his perspective and work through the problem.
What form of expression does Kross strongly support? Show answer
Expressive writing, 15 to 20 minutes a day for one to three days, because it imposes structure on chaotic thoughts.
What is distanced self-talk? Show answer
Coaching yourself using your own name and the word you, as if giving advice to someone else.
Where does venting sit in Judith Joseph's five steps? Show answer
Second, after validation, which means naming what you actually feel.
What rules does Joseph set for venting? Show answer
Wait before venting, vent to yourself first, do not unload on someone with less power, and keep it fair and reciprocal.
What does Edith Eger believe about unexpressed emotion? Show answer
That it is what makes people sick, while what is expressed does no harm.
What direction does Eger give to expression? Show answer
From an anger letter to a love letter and on to forgiveness, which releases the burden of hate.
Why is Chris Voss wary of letting people vent? Show answer
He finds it tends to spiral out of control, so he names the emotion behind it instead.
Why does Voss think people vent, and how does he respond? Show answer
They feel ignored. He tells them what he guesses they are feeling, which shows they have been heard.