Dress and stand for how you want to feel: confidence from the outside in
October 12, 2026 · 18 min read
Stylist Erin Walsh asks 'How do I want to feel?' before getting dressed, social psychologist Amy Cuddy explains postural feedback and expansive posture, and Vanessa Van Edwards teaches claiming space and using your hands to project and build confidence. Each treats clothing, stance and gesture as inputs you can set before a hard moment, which gives people something concrete to do when telling themselves to feel confident fails.
The rules, numbers and steps worth keeping in front of you.
- Erin Walsh: before you open the closet, pause, ask how you want to feel, and answer in three words.
- Walsh: start from how you want to feel, not from what you should wear or how you want to be seen.
- Walsh: know at least three pieces you feel great in.
- Walsh: no buying needed. Try on everything quarterly, photograph the outfits that work, and let go of what does not fit.
- Amy Cuddy: before a stressful event, make yourself big in a private space. The rest of the time, keep good neutral posture.
- Cuddy: 4-7-8 breathing is inhale four counts, hold seven, exhale eight, repeated a few times. Do not hold your breath through a pose.
- Cuddy: skip telling yourself you are great when you doubt it. List the three things you care about most, rank them, and write about the top one.
- Cuddy's warning: personal power is not a substitute for skills and knowledge.
- Vanessa Van Edwards: keep your shoulders down and back, away from your ears.
- Van Edwards: check your phone up and out, with the phone raised, chin up and elbows wide.
- Van Edwards: choose a chair with armrests and keep space between your arms and your torso.
- Van Edwards: keep your hands visible, out of pockets and above the desk.
- Van Edwards: try each cue three times in three different situations before deciding it is not for you.
This is the short form. The full insight has every expert's reasoning, their own words and the sources.