Helping others is one of the most reliable ways to feel happier
Laurie Santos, Huberman's happiness episode and the Surgeon General all point to other-oriented action, prosocial spending and service as consistent happiness boosters. It is a counterintuitive but well-supported alternative to self-focused self-care.
Turning your time, money and attention toward other people is one of the most dependable ways to feel better yourself. Yale psychologist Laurie Santos, neuroscientist Andrew Huberman and U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy all land there. The main conditions are that the help is freely chosen, that it reaches someone who needs and notices it, and that nobody gives away more than they can afford.
Santos argues our instincts point the wrong way. Popular advice is full of self-care and treating yourself, but the data describe something else: "happy people don't spend a lot of time on themselves." Controlling for income, happier people donate more, and controlling for free time, they volunteer more. She admits that is only a correlation, and that the link runs both ways. Experiments answer the causation question. In one, people handed $20 and told to spend it on someone else ended up happier than those told to spend it on themselves. Helping also makes you feel you have more time, because it tells your brain you have room on your plate. That matters because feeling starved of time hurts well-being as much as being unemployed.
She adds a condition the cheerful version usually skips. The giving has to be voluntary. Of unchosen caretaking she says, "If you feel like you have no choice, then that doesn't count." Her suggestions are small: three meaningful compliments in a week, a note to the loneliest person in your contacts, or asking someone for advice, which lets them feel competent.
Huberman lists giving as a concrete tool for self-directed happiness. He cites research in which spending on others was linked to greater happiness, about as strongly as income, while personal spending was unrelated to it. Among employees given bonuses, how they spent the bonus predicted happiness better than its size. He says this is not a call to give away all your money, and that time and effort count as fully as cash. The benefit to the giver grows with how much the recipient actually needs the help and registers it.
Murthy approaches it through loneliness, which about one in two American adults report. Service is central to his remedy: through acts of service we forge connections and remind ourselves how much value we have to bring. He also urges calling someone to say you are thinking of them, and giving people full attention, which can make five minutes feel like half an hour.
They differ in emphasis. Santos and Huberman frame giving as a route to happiness, Murthy as a route to connection and self-worth. On money, Huberman says it can buffer stress, while Santos says the data may not support even that.
What to do with it: give three real compliments this week. Message someone who may be lonely. Spend a small, planned amount on someone else. Give effort when you cannot give money. Aim help where it is needed and noticed. Give full attention.
This applies once basic needs are met, and the effect is modest but real. Helping supports feeling good; it does not replace treatment. Anyone dealing with persistent depression, anxiety or suicidal thoughts should talk to a doctor or mental health professional.