Protect your peace: handling difficult people without absorbing their stress
September 29, 2026 · 23 min read
Jefferson Fisher shares scripts and the power of saying less, Bill Eddy warns about emotional contagion from high-conflict people, Mel Robbins names subtle forms of disrespect and her Me, We, Them framework shifts focus to what you control. Difficult people are among the most common chronic stressors, and specific responses keep them from taking over your day.
The rules, numbers and steps worth keeping in front of you.
- Jefferson Fisher: breathe before you speak, drop your shoulders, and go slower and lower when others escalate.
- Fisher: you do not have to respond to everything; the less you say, the more powerful you sound.
- Fisher: in small arguments, ask whether this is something you have to agree on.
- Fisher: after disrespect, wait about ten seconds, then say it is below your standard of respect.
- Fisher: for belittling comments, ask the person to say it again.
- Fisher: for gaslighting, say you remember things differently, and stop there.
- Fisher: answer provoking texts late, with boring words such as noted or got it.
- Bill Eddy: high-conflict emotions are highly contagious; notice when you are being recruited.
- Eddy: never tell someone they have a personality disorder, and do not label people.
- Eddy: with high-conflict people, acknowledge feelings briefly, then offer choices and ask what they think.
- Eddy: keep replies brief, informative, friendly and firm, and pair every limit with a consequence you follow through on.
- Mel Robbins: how people treat you reflects them; what you allow is on you.
- Robbins's Me, We, Them: focus on what you control, state the impact and your need, then let them choose.
- Abuse or feeling unsafe: get help from a lawyer, therapist or domestic violence professional.
This is the short form. The full insight has every expert's reasoning, their own words and the sources.