The midlife dip: when the low point becomes a turning point
Neuroscientist Tali Sharot describes the U-shape of happiness and its midlife dip, Dr. Shefali treats midlife as an awakening, and Mel Robbins dates the reinvention of her life to a painful 52nd birthday. For someone at a low point in the middle of life, these accounts suggest that the dip is common and that a better stretch can start there.
What shape does happiness follow across life, according to Dr. Tali Sharot? Show answer
A U shape, averaged across thousands of people: high in kids and teenagers, at its lowest in midlife, then rising again and staying fairly high until the last couple of years of life.
Does the U shape of happiness mean everyone hits bottom in midlife? Show answer
No. Sharot says it is a trend in data from thousands of individuals, and it does not mean midlife will be the low point for every person.
What is habituation? Show answer
Sharot describes it as the brain's tendency to respond less and less to things that are constant or that change very gradually. It dulls good things, and it also helps us adapt to bad ones such as a breakup or a lost job.
Why does Sharot think midlife is the low point? Show answer
She says there are many possible reasons, but one is that midlife has the least change. People tend to stay put and maintain what they have, and the brain responds less to what stays the same.
Why does happiness rise again later in life, on Sharot's account? Show answer
Things move again once the kids are out of the house and perhaps you have retired. It is a totally different life, and that causes people to start learning again.
How does Dr. Shefali explain the midlife crisis? Show answer
By midlife people have checked off much of the list that culture and their parents handed them, yet happiness is no closer. She sees the crisis as an invitation to find out who you are.
What three-layer practice does Dr. Shefali offer someone in the crisis? Show answer
Decide to become a seeker of your own authentic truth, see your relationships as mirrors of your relationship with yourself, and learn meditation, which she describes as repeatedly bringing yourself back to the present.
What are Mel Robbins' three steps for reinventing your life? Show answer
Make a wish by asking what you want the next year of your life to look like, act like the person you want to become no matter how you feel, and look for proof in people who already have the life you want.
What did Mel Robbins do on her 52nd birthday, the low point she dates her reinvention from? Show answer
She woke up crying and filmed a video in which she named what she felt, then she exercised, bought herself flowers and watched stand-up comedy so she would laugh a little.
What is the fresh start effect, as Mel Robbins explains it? Show answer
Moments that mark the passing of time, such as birthdays, January 1st, a Monday or a breakup, create a break from the past version of you. In that freedom from self-criticism you let yourself imagine the future you.
Where do Sharot and Dr. Shefali disagree about how much should change? Show answer
Sharot's conversation with Mel Robbins favors a small shake, mixing life up without blowing it up. Dr. Shefali says an inauthentic life will fall apart, and it should.
What two tools does Sharot give for making a familiar life feel fresh again? Show answer
Breaks and variety. Going away and coming back makes the brain respond again, and variety brings inputs you are not used to and puts you in a context of learning.