War breeds generational hatred
Lex Fridman returns from Ukraine warning that war creates hate lasting generations, Musk makes the same point about Gaza, and Bryan Callen and Craig Jones describe how quickly order and humanity break down up close. It adds a long-term cost to every calculation about war.
The cost of war that lasts longest is not the deaths, injuries or destroyed buildings. It is the hate war leaves behind, which spreads from the soldiers who did the killing to an entire people and passes down through families for decades. The people in these conversations argue that any decision about war should count the future enemies it creates, not just today's casualties.
Lex Fridman came back from Ukraine, where he interviewed several hundred people, saying that "war creates generational hate." Anyone who loses a parent or a child, he found, comes to hate not just the soldiers or leaders but the whole people. When he asked whether they could ever forgive Russia, most said no, and many meant all Russians. Some saw the hate in themselves and described it as a vicious spiral. He adds that wars are waged by the powerful and rich while the poor suffer, and that every side is sure it alone sees through propaganda. His answer is to ignore the powerful and listen to ordinary citizens.
Elon Musk turns the idea into a test for strategy. Speaking about Israel and Hamas, and stressing that this is strictly his opinion, he argues Hamas wanted to provoke the most aggressive response possible in order to rally support. He says it is appropriate for Israel to find the Hamas members, but asks: "for every Hamas member that you kill, how many did you create? And if you create more than you kill, you've not succeeded." He recommends the most conspicuous acts of kindness possible, such as mobile hospitals, food, water and medical supplies, delivered transparently. His historical evidence is the Treaty of Versailles, which sowed the seeds of World War II, against the Marshall Plan, which rebuilt the defeated.
Bryan Callen, who lived through war in Lebanon as a child, warns how fast a society's fabric can tear and bristles at students who romanticize violent revolution. Craig Jones, who went to within one kilometer of the front line in Kherson, learned that the fighters are ordinary people and conscripts. His friend Dmitry carries documents of his grandfather's execution by the USSR into a new war. The conversation also notes that mines will keep killing for decades after the fighting ends.
They differ in places. Fridman found hate in those who lost family, while Musk says most young soldiers on both sides do not hate each other; the article reads these as fitting together, since Musk describes conscripts and Fridman describes bereaved families. Callen expects violent people to take over when order breaks down, yet Fridman reports that early in the war in Ukraine crime went to zero. Musk also warns that permanent peace could become dystopian if it requires suppressing everyone.
There are limits. Musk calls this one of the most contentious subjects one could discuss, and neither source denies a country's right to defend itself. The evidence is testimony and history, not systematic data, and hate is not inevitable for everyone.
What to do with it: when weighing any military response, ask how many enemies it creates and judge success over time. Count long-term costs such as scattered communities and mines. Watch for provocations meant to trigger an overreaction. Be wary of stories that make a whole people the enemy, and listen to ordinary people on every side.