The Big Picture
Across these conversations, a habit is a behavior trained until it takes little effort, and it is tied to state, setting and identity [1][9]. Andrew Huberman argues on Huberman Lab that much of habit formation is about being in the right state and learning to control your state, and that the goal is automaticity, the point where neural circuits perform the behavior automatically with little effort [1]. Emily McDonald, a guest on The School of Greatness, comes at it through identity: we achieve big goals not as the person who started but as the person we had to become [9].
The same thinking is applied to hard cases and to everyday ones. Huberman's episode on eating disorders describes habit retraining under the umbrella of cognitive behavioral therapy [5], and the Huberman Lab conversation with Dr. Keith Humphreys on addiction describes practical work on cues [6]. At the everyday end, Mel Robbins makes the case for simple, research-backed changes [3], Dr. Daniel Amen offers one question to ask at every decision point in your day [4], and Michael Bungay Stanier's conversational habits are said to raise others up and build trust [7].
Where the Experts Agree
- Small changes count. Mel Robbins says that when you face a big goal, simple advice from experts is easy to dismiss as too small to matter, but that understanding the research behind a simple change makes you more motivated and more likely to apply it [3]. Her book The High Five Habit grew out of a morning habit of high-fiving yourself in the mirror [3]. Amen's parting advice is a single question: is what you are doing good for your brain [4]?
- Setting and cues drive behavior. Huberman explains that habit strength is measured partly by context dependence, whether you do the habit the same way regardless of setting [1]. The addiction passage lists identifying cues, noticing where the person never uses, and removing the liquor cabinet [6]. McDonald says that because the brain is an association machine, moving to a new place can be a powerful way to level up [9].
- Understanding helps you change. On eating disorders, Huberman's episode says that once patients understand what is happening, they can intervene [5]. "The beauty of being a human being is that knowledge of knowledge can allow you to make better decisions," Huberman says [5].
- Other people matter. Family-based models, where the whole family learns the biology, stops condemning and supports the person's efforts, work well alongside habit retraining [5]. The addiction passage advises joining others making the same change: "Having other people on the same journey is good for us." [6] McDonald counts the people around you among her identity anchors [9].
- Enjoyment and engagement help. Huberman's linchpin habits, which make many other habits easier, are always things you enjoy [1]. In Lewis Howes' Episode 1,000, Robert Greene's advice rests on the idea that the brain learns deeply only when engaged: someone excited can learn in two years what takes others ten [8].
Where They Differ
These are different emphases more than disagreements.
- Behavior first or identity first. Huberman measures a habit by context dependence and by how much limbic friction is required to perform it [1]. McDonald starts with simply adopting a new label, even if it feels like a lie at first, and then adds identity anchors: habits, environment, the people around you, even food [9].
- Same setting or new setting. For Huberman, a strong habit is context-independent: he brushes his teeth at about the same time relative to waking whether traveling or at home [1]. McDonald and the addiction passage change the surroundings in order to change the behavior [6][9].
- Quick rewards or patience. Because addiction heavily discounts the future, the addiction passage focuses on immediate rewards: more money each day, feeling better quickly, and the status that 12-step groups give for each sober day [6]. Episode 1,000 says you need both direction and discipline, and that if you know what you want but lack patience, you're stuck [8]. The Mel Robbins episode on small habits presents Dr. Mark Hyman's belief that most people are only days away from feeling better [2].
- How hard change is. Huberman's episode reports relapse rates of about 50%, often triggered by stress [5]. Episode 1,000 holds that believing you can't teach an old dog new tricks becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy [8].
Practical Takeaways
- Identify which habits are easy for you, which are hard, and which you want to break [1].
- Look for a linchpin habit you enjoy. For Huberman it is cardio and resistance training, each three or four times a week, placed early in the day [1].
- At every decision point in your day, ask whether what you are doing is good for your brain [4].
- To break a habit, identify the cues, notice where you never do it, remove triggers such as the liquor cabinet, and rehearse social situations [6].
- Focus on immediate rewards, and join others making the same change [6].
- Think in terms of a "to be list", not only a to-do list: McDonald decided she was an author and asked what an author does, which is write regularly [9].
- Line up identity anchors behind the change: habits, environment, the people around you, even food [9].
- In conversations, stay curious longer, resist the urge to rescue with advice, and ask what the real challenge is for the other person [7].
Sources
- Andrew Huberman on the Science of Making and Breaking Habits · Huberman Lab
- 5 Small Habits That Will Change Your Life: Mel Robbins' Best Expert Advice on Health, Anxiety, Money, Confidence and Purpose · The Mel Robbins Podcast
- 8 Simple, Science-Backed Changes to Improve Your Life: Mel Robbins and Researcher Tracey on Brand New Studies · The Mel Robbins Podcast
- Dr. Daniel Amen on Brain Health: Daily Habits, Supplements, Food, and Calming a Busy Mind · The Mel Robbins Podcast
- Healthy Eating and Eating Disorders: The Biology of Anorexia, Bulimia and Binge Eating · Huberman Lab
- Dr. Keith Humphreys on How Addiction Works and How People Overcome It · Huberman Lab
- Michael Bungay Stanier on Staying Curious, Taming Advice, and the Habits of Magnetic Communicators · The School of Greatness
- Lewis Howes' Episode 1,000: Lessons From Robert Greene, Tony Robbins, David Goggins, Brené Brown and Chris Lee · The School of Greatness
- Emily McDonald on Identity Shifting, Neuroplasticity, and Why Your Brain Decides Before You Do · The School of Greatness
