Mel Robbins' Never Been There, Never Done That Game: 5 Ways to Shake Up Your Life Close to Home

High-Level Overview

In this solo episode, Mel Robbins teaches one of her favorite ways to break out of a rut: a game she calls Never Been There, Never Done That. The idea is to build a bucket list of places and experiences you have never tried, not on the other side of the world, but right in your own town, neighborhood or the next town over. Big dream vacations are worth planning, she says, but they are often years away, and "Simply shaking up your routine is all that research says you need to do." All you need is about 30 minutes and a willingness to walk out your front door.

The tone is upbeat, playful and personal, packed with stories from Mel's life in Boston and southern Vermont, from a shack that sells wooden salad bowls to a failed sourdough starter named Doughlene. The episode moves from the problem of routine, through the science of goals and habituation, to five practical categories for building your list.

The Discussion Explores:

• Why we overlook the "hidden gems" in our own area, using the image of an anthill
• How planning something to look forward to gives you two boosts to mood and energy
• Goal setting as a way to escape autopilot and make weekends more meaningful
• Habituation: how too much routine quietly drains the joy from life
• Five categories for your list: a new store, a new street, a museum or green space, new food, and a league or volunteer group
• Why even a failed adventure is still fun and still worth doing

Deep Dive into Main Ideas

The Problem: Big Dreams, No Dates

Mel opens with a story from her executive producer, Tracy, whose family spent a weekend brainstorming dream trips, the Caribbean, Patagonia, a safari, Greece, only to end up with no vacation planned because no dates worked for everyone. Mel says planning far-off trips is important, but they are usually years away, while the need for novelty is now.

Her alternative is to make your own adventures locally. Wherever you live, rural, suburban or city, there are restaurants, coffee shops, museums, galleries, thrift stores, library lectures, sports leagues, volunteer opportunities and trails you have driven past for years. She shares a friend's description of her rural area: it looks like nothing is going on, but it is like an anthill, full of life once you look inside.

Mel's Own Wake-Up Call

Mel admits that in 26 years living near Boston she went to the same three restaurants and the same coffee shop, rarely visited Fenway Park, went to the Museum of Fine Arts and the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum maybe once or twice, and never made it to the Harbor Islands. She had also visited southern Vermont for 28 years, but only in a tight routine of family meals, hiking, golf or skiing. When her son suggested moving there, she thought there was nothing to do. She was wrong.

Just by starting her own list during the episode, she adds the National Fly Fishing History Museum she has driven past for 28 years, a huge garden center her colleague Jesse raves about, a lit-up cross-country ski complex a town over, a CrossFit gym her friends attend, and a new barre class on Tuesday nights. Once you start looking, she says, you see opportunities everywhere.

The Science: Goals and Two Boosts of Mood

Mel explains two research areas behind the game. First, goals: even small, simple goals like visiting a new garden center give you a sense of direction and define a game worth playing. Making the list creates micro goals and an action-oriented plan that lifts you out of autopilot. She contrasts a Saturday with no plan, which dissolves into errands and chores, with one where you wake up excited to visit a place from your list.

Second, anticipation: according to the research she cites, having something to look forward to gives you two bumps in mood and energy, once when you plan it and again when you do it. She encourages listeners to write their list as they listen, or right after a walk or drive, because simply making the plan brings more excitement into daily life.

Habituation: Why Routine Kills the Sparkle

The second body of research is habituation, which Mel previews ahead of a future episode with an MIT neuroscientist. Her plain-language definition: when you get too used to your routine, it stops registering, and "your routine actually can kill the joy in your life." It explains why something wonderful on Monday feels boring by Friday, why the 20th serving of a favorite dish never tastes as good as the first, and why a partner, a backyard or a painting you see every day loses its sparkle.

The antidote is change: of environment, rules, people, routine or commute. Mel notes that this is why we instinctively crave vacations, but her point is that you don't need a huge shakeup, just a steady stream of small new experiences, picked week by week from the list.

Idea One: Walk Into a New Store

The first category is simply going into a store you have never entered. Mel confesses that in 26 years near the town of Natick, she probably never walked into half the shops on its two-and-a-half-block main street, even though she and her husband once owned a paint-your-own-pottery studio there. She suggests thrift stores, small grocers, a used car lot you always drive past, or a neighboring town's farmers market on a different day.

She also argues for shopping in person rather than online, for the fun of hunting, gathering and talking to shop owners. Her favorite example is a roadside shack in western Massachusetts with a hand-painted sign for handmade wooden bowls. After passing it for almost two decades she finally stopped in, discovered its bowls had been on Oprah's favorites list, and now uses them as her go-to wedding gift.

Idea Two: Drive, Walk or Bike Down a New Street

The second idea comes from Mel's colleague Amy, who has a tradition with her daughter of turning down any street they have never been down. They have discovered farms, gardens and produce stands, and more importantly, they have fun exploring together. City dwellers can do the same by taking a different route to work, a class or a friend's house, and Mel does it by following a different marker on her dog-walking trails. Sometimes the detour is amazing, sometimes it's just okay, but the change itself is what matters.

She compares it to exploring a new city while traveling, like her recent mother-daughter trip to Paris, where they walked about 20,000 steps a day and rode electric bikes around with no destination. That same sense of adventure, she insists, is available at home.

Idea Three: A Museum, Gallery, Library or Green Space

While planning a three-day visit from her parents for her son Oakley's high school graduation, Mel realized she was essentially writing a Never Been There list. The highlight was the Clark Art Institute in Williamstown, Massachusetts, about an hour from her home in a town of around 7,000 people. She describes an entire room of about 40 Renoirs, works by Winslow Homer, Degas, Remington and John Singer Sargent, 19 galleries and 145 landscaped acres. She had no idea it was there and now plans to go back again and again.

Idea Four: Try New Food or Cook Something New

Mel, a self-described foodie, asks why we explore hole-in-the-wall restaurants when traveling but eat at the same two places at home. She tells the story of trying sourdough with Oakley: they made a starter from scratch over a seven-day process, fans named it Doughlene on social media, and while Mel was away on day four, Oakley forgot to feed it. It died, and he hid the jar outside. They never made bread, but she says it was still a blast, with a boost from planning, another from doing, and a third from telling the story.

She also describes a café she ignored for seven years because she assumed it was just a beer garden serving tinned fish. Taking her mother's advice, "try it. You might like it," she found incredible coffee, hand-rolled croissants that sell out in 15 minutes on weekends, and an outdoor dining area she compares to Napa Valley. It is now a place she visits about three times a week.

Idea Five: Join a League, Service Group or Volunteer

The final category is joining something. Mel recommends kickball leagues, especially for young people in a new city, since you don't need to be athletic to show up, laugh and make friends. Volunteering builds community and deepens your connection to yourself. She shares how Oakley, as a high school freshman, wandered into the school cafeteria and found a group of grandmothers from an organization called Grateful Hearts chopping donated food for neighbors facing food insecurity. He asked to help, spent four years at their "chat and chop" sessions, and fell in love with cooking. Her husband Chris volunteers every Thursday delivering donated restaurant meals to hospice patients. If you don't know where to start, she suggests your town's Facebook group, the town clerk's office or the local library.

Conclusion

Mel's message is that you don't need a plane ticket to feel alive again. Routine dulls your senses through habituation, but small, deliberate novelty restores wonder, and simply planning it lifts your mood before you even leave the house. Her five categories, a new store, a new street, a museum or green space, new food, and a league or volunteer group, give anyone a ready-made list to pick from once a week. Even the adventures that flop, like a dead sourdough starter, deliver energy, stories and connection. Your next adventure, she says, is probably something you have driven past a hundred times.

This is a summary of "5 Fun Ideas to Shake Up Your Life & Get Out Of A Rut" from The Mel Robbins Podcast, giving you the GIST so you can decide if you want the REST. Listen to the full episode.