Fewer lows before more highs: why removing the negative comes first
October 13, 2026 · 21 min read
Adam Alter advises raising the lows before adding highs, Price Pritchett argues that less negative thinking beats more positive thinking and names five hidden habits of it, and Mel Robbins says the biggest obstacle to her own happiness was the three ways she was blocking it, not a lack of good things. All three start by taking away what drags a life down, which gives people who have added habit after habit without feeling better a different place to begin.
The rules, numbers and steps worth keeping in front of you.
- Start by removing what drags you down; Alter, Pritchett and Robbins all keep the positive in the picture too.
- Alter: bad things drag you down much more than good things can lift you up.
- Alter's friction audit: identify the friction, intervene to weed it out or sand it down, confirm it worked.
- Four outcomes for each friction item: remove it, hand it to someone else, do it without complaining, or accept it and box it away.
- Repeat the audit at least once a year, perhaps on your birthday; Alter says the list should change.
- Pritchett: less negative thinking matters more than more positive thinking, so keep the positive high and cut the negative.
- Pritchett's figure: about 70% of our negative thinking goes unnoticed.
- Pritchett's five C's: complaining, criticizing, concern (worry), commiserating, catastrophizing.
- Pritchett: manage your remembering, and choose how you behave whatever your thinking is doing.
- Robbins's three blocks to happiness: locked in your head, picking up a sword, focusing on what's wrong.
- Robbins: drop the sword; bracing for a fight is a learned behavior that can be unlearned.
- Robbins: let the good in. Say thank you to a compliment, accept help, count the half that is working.
- Warning from Alter: friction points you turn away from become traps that can linger for decades.
- Low mood that persists, or thoughts of self-harm, call for a qualified professional, not a list.
This is the short form. The full insight has every expert's reasoning, their own words and the sources.