Fewer lows before more highs: why removing the negative comes first
Adam Alter advises raising the lows before adding highs, Price Pritchett argues that less negative thinking beats more positive thinking and names five hidden habits of it, and Mel Robbins says the biggest obstacle to her own happiness was the three ways she was blocking it, not a lack of good things. All three start by taking away what drags a life down, which gives people who have added habit after habit without feeling better a different place to begin.
According to Adam Alter, where is the biggest gain if you want to make life better? Show answer
In the lows: taking the friction points, the things that are hard and bad, and smoothing them out or raising them up, more than in adding good things.
Why does Adam Alter say the lows deserve attention first? Show answer
Because bad things drag you down much more than good things can lift you up, so a person is often as good as the worst thing going on.
What are the three steps of Alter's friction audit? Show answer
Identify the friction, intervene to weed it out or sand it down, and confirm that the intervention actually worked.
How often does Alter suggest doing a friction audit? Show answer
At least once a year, perhaps on your birthday, so you can see that items you wrote down in earlier years have been fixed.
What does Price Pritchett say matters more: more positive thinking or less negative thinking? Show answer
Less negative thinking. He says optimism and pessimism are two different scales, so you keep positive thinking high and separately cut down on the negative.
By Pritchett's figure, how much of our negative thinking goes unnoticed? Show answer
About 70%, because it is embedded in day-to-day behavior.
What are Pritchett's five C's of negative thinking? Show answer
Complaining, criticizing, concern (meaning everyday worry, not empathy), commiserating and catastrophizing.
What does Pritchett mean by "manage your remembering"? Show answer
Choosing which memories you dwell on: the embarrassments and failures, or the times you pulled something off and surprised yourself.
What are the three ways Mel Robbins says she was blocking her own happiness? Show answer
Being locked in her head, picking up a sword (always bracing for a fight), and focusing on what's wrong.
What does Mel Robbins mean by happiness? Show answer
Not a feeling of positivity, but a feeling of being content, present and okay with yourself in your life.
Where do Alter and Robbins differ about what the low is? Show answer
Alter's lows are mostly things in your life that can be fixed with time, energy or money; Robbins says that after she solved the outside problems, the trouble was inside her.
What can you do with each item on a friction list? Show answer
Remove it, get someone else to do it, find a way to do it without complaining, or accept it and box it away.