Warmth and Competence, Clearly Signaled: How to Make a Strong First Impression
October 6, 2026 · 15 min read
Vanessa Van Edwards says charisma is warmth and competence shown together, and that capable people get overlooked when they fail to signal either one. Oz Pearlman, Terrence J and former Secret Service agent Evy Poumpouras describe the signals that carry it in the first seconds, from the approach and eye contact to names and voice, and they are frank about what such cues cannot prove.
The rules, numbers and steps worth keeping in front of you.
- Van Edwards: a first impression answers two questions, trust and reliability. Signal warmth and competence at the same time.
- Van Edwards: having the qualities is not enough. Unsignaled, people do not believe them.
- Van Edwards: keep shoulders away from the ears and arms off your sides. Hold your phone up and out.
- Van Edwards: keep your hands visible, out of pockets and above the desk. The steeple rated as the most charismatic gesture.
- Van Edwards and Poumpouras: use a lower, slower voice. If you hear vocal fry, speak louder.
- Van Edwards: be the first liker. Greet people by name and say you like them.
- Van Edwards: at events, avoid the entrance and stand where people leave the bar.
- Pearlman: when interrupting strangers, approach at an angle, set a 30 second limit and settle their unspoken questions.
- Pearlman on names: listen, repeat at least twice, then attach the name to something.
- Pearlman: match the other person's energy and leave them wanting more.
- Terrence J: research people beforehand, find common ground, and never attempt a name you cannot pronounce.
- Poumpouras: hold eye contact on purpose, including while they speak, and face people squarely.
- Poumpouras: bring a few bullet points, never a script, and never say you will hurry.
- Warning from Poumpouras: do not treat eye contact as a lie detector, and never call people out on cues.
This is the short form. The full insight has every expert's reasoning, their own words and the sources.